


Captain Max

by lirin



Category: Tangled (2010)
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-10
Updated: 2011-09-10
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:35:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lirin/pseuds/lirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It would appear that Rapunzel's children have more opportunities to play outside than she had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Max

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katarina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katarina/gifts).



> I wrote this as an incentive for my sister to finish her algebra book ahead of schedule. Good job on your math, Katarina, and enjoy!

“This is the story of how I almost died. But don’t worry, this is actually a very interesting story, and the truth is, it mostly isn’t mine. This is the story of two princes and a princess.

“It starts with the rain. Now, once upon a time, not very long ago at all, Princess Adelia was looking out the window of her bedroom in the castle, at the raindrops pinging against her windowpane. But instead of staying in her room all dry and cozy, as one would expect a normal properly-behaved child to do, she decided to go out and play. So she asked her brothers to come jump in mud puddles with her.

“I don’t know how long they had been playing in the mud when I came across them, but it was certainly long enough for their hair and clothes to be completely mud-soaked. When I rode up, Crown Prince Flynn was flinging a large clump of mud at the princess’s face, while Prince Edric was pouring a bucket of water into a puddle that apparently hadn’t been big enough for his taste. I dismounted and walked up to them, trying to act stern, but Princess Adelia gave me a big grin and said, ‘Hi, Captain Max! Where’s Commander Maximus?’

“Now, I should explain, since you know ‘Captain Max’ isn’t my name. The children named me after the horse I used to have. I don’t know where they got that idea; after all, Maximus has been emancipated for quite a while now. But it could be worse. They wanted to call me ‘Mister Max,’ but I reminded them that I’m still Captain of the Guard, and that counts for something, even now that the king has created that new Equestrian Commander of the Guard position that outranks me.

“So when Princess Adelia grinned at me like nothing was wrong and she wasn’t being mischievous at all, I frowned at her sternly, said, ‘What do you think you’re doing, Your Majesty?’, and picked her up around the waist of her muddy gown. I was going to carry her inside out of the elements, but the two princes saw what I was doing and decided to play ‘rescue the princess from the evil villain.’ They charged at me headlong, waving their toy swords and hurling handfuls of mud. Have I mentioned that they’re too much like their father? When I got mixed up with him, I ended up with a concussion, and when I got mixed up with the princes, well...you can see what happened to me.

“Anyway, I had taken one step with the princess in my arms, when a huge amount of mud slid down the front of my helmet. Temporarily blinded, I staggered forward, trying not to drop her, but a large weight landed on my shoulders: apparently Crown Prince Flynn had seized a nearby vine and swung heroically towards me. This was too much for my sense of balance. I dropped the princess and stumbled to the side, where of course I immediately managed to step in Prince Edric’s puddle. It was a very deep puddle, more like a hole actually, and I felt my ankle bend into a shape that ankles are not supposed to be able to make. I pitched forward, and as I ended up—still in full armor, mind you—flat on my face in the mud, a child’s voice cried ‘A sled! Let’s sled down the hill!’ Again, I felt a heavy weight on my back. I started to slide forward, faster and faster, with those two...those two...two extremely problematic children on my back. Princess Adelia grabbed an old board and followed us down.

“When we landed at the bottom, I stood up and the two boys tumbled off. I was quite angry, and I was about to say something regrettable, when Princess Adelia said, ‘Now boys, what do you say?’ and the princes chorused, ‘Thank you, Captain Max, for a wonderful ride.’ I’ve always felt funny about yelling at people after they’ve said something nice to me, and this was no exception. I gazed back at them, trying to smile but unable to think of anything nice to say. For a moment, everything was calm. But when the crown prince asked ‘Can we do it again?’ with a giant grin on his face, I snarled, ‘No! Absolutely not! Are you out of your mind?’ and limped toward the castle as fast as my twisted ankle would take me.

“Many aghast stares met me and my muddy appearance when I entered the castle, even though I took the precaution of coming in through a back door. I went to my quarters and cleaned up as best as I could, then—with the plumes of my helmet still dripping mud despite all my efforts—I went to go find the Prince Consort and tell them that his hoodlums...that is, henchmen...I mean of course, his adorable children...were getting up to mischief and that he should probably go stop them.

“He assured me that he would go talk to them right away, and indeed he did head right out to where I had told him they were to be found. However, when I looked out the window ten minutes later, I was just in time to see the Prince Consort covered in mud and throwing the Crown Prince into a mud puddle. I sighed in exasperation and limped off to tell the children’s mother.

“Princess Rapunzel sounded quite sympathetic. She apologized for her children’s behavior, and promised to talk to them about not attacking Captain Max without asking permission first. She even said that she would go out and talk to them right then and there. I thanked her for her help, and headed back to my quarters again. By the time I dragged myself in the door, I was sure that my ankle was broken. I sat down on my bed and glanced out the window—to behold Rapunzel herself hurling a huge handful of mud at her husband, while her children applauded gleefully.

“I gave up then, and decided to just get some sleep and enjoy being inside where it was clean and dry. I had just nodded off when a messenger banged on my door. He informed me that His Majesty the King wanted me to come to an audience with him at once. I pulled on my still-mud-spotted armor and limped across the castle grounds once more. And now, here I am, waiting for him to see me. I don’t know whether he’s planning to reward me for attempting to rescue the princess from the mud hole and for entertaining the princes at risk of life and limb, or whether he’s planning to demote me for whatever trumped-up story of my wrath the princes have relayed to him. Well, the doors are opening...I guess you’ll find out soon enough.”

****

The next day, a new medal appeared on the Captain of the Guard’s wall of trophies and medallions. No matter how much Crown Prince Flynn and Prince Edric begged him, he would not give them a single hint of what act of bravery had won him that medal. But certain other friends of his, when they asked, learned the story of the Muddy Monsters of Doom, and how he had won that medal for standing up against them single-handed.


End file.
